Sunday, August 16, 2015

The Burden of Intelligence



1.

It was the mid morning, around 11:30am, just before lunch, and all the doctors of the Princeton-Plainsboro teaching hospital were busy trying to get to a point in whatever they were doing to be able to take their lunch break. Dr. House, as always, was the exception.

He sat in his office, almost sullen, trying as he does to take his mind off of the dull pain that follows him through his days. For him lunchtime is usually spent considering whether or not he should eat first or just pop a couple more vicodins now, eat, then pop another one before getting back to work. The truth of the matter was that if push came to shove he could live without taking anymore vicodins, the pain was there, certainly, but it was manageable. With that in mind, Dr. House told himself that little lie, as everyone does (tell little lies, that is) that he actually needed them. Today was going to be one of those days, he could feel it, he thought to himself. He stopped belaboring the issue and popped two of the little pills into his mouth when he saw Dr. Wilson coming down the hall towards his office with a hustle to his step.

Dr. Wilson opened up the glass door to his office and popped his head in for just a moment. “Cuddy needs to see you” he blurted out before House even could tell his old friend “Can't you see I'm busy?”

“What's up?” Dr. House asked.

“I'm late for lunch. You'll have to ask her”

2.

House walked to Cuddy's office on a cloud of vicodin haze, able to tune out the sound of his own cane tapping against the ground as he made his way down the maze of hallways.

“Greg, Good, youre here.” she said as he sat down in the chair second closest to her desk. “I just got off the phone with a personal friend who wants your help in a very unusual local case.” she continued, completely skipping all pleasantries. Dr. House actually preferred it that way. “Go on” he said as he admired her face and her form.

“Well, do you remember that story a couple years ago about the local boy genius?” she asked.

“The...hydrocephalic? Sure. Who can forget a kid with a head that large. Let me guess, his cranium grew so large that his neck can barely support it's weight anymore.” he replied, sarcastically.

“Actually, yes.”

Dr. House looked at her, dumbfounded.

“That's not all. It's reached some kind of accelerated growth spurt. He is literally mutating. And no one knows why. And then it gets weird...”

“Oh, that wasn't already weird?”

“Not like this. Apparently he is now generating some kind of bio-electro-magnetic field, frying any instruments that he comes into contact with, which is preventing a lot of efforts to treat or even determine what is wrong with him.”

“That sounds like something out of the X-Files. Or the X-Men.”

“Does it sound like something that might interest you?”

Dr. House pauses, stroking yesterday's five o'clock shadow while he thinks for a moment.

“I suppose I could take a look.”

3.

The patient, David Morrow, was wheeled up into the candle lit examination room by his concerned mother. David, his gigantic throbbing cranium shedding hair as it grew, looked shriveled and pathetic in the wheelchair, not unlike a quadriplegic. House took mental note of the boy's appearance, likening him to a Stephen Hawking bobble-head. His sullen mother, on the other hand, reminded him of Sally Field.

“Hello, Doctor.” David said to Dr. House, telepathically.

“How old are you now, David? 15?” Dr. House said as he used an old fashioned stethoscope to check the boy's heart and pulse. Neither of them sounded like anything he had heard before. His heart seemed to be beating at the rapid pace of a hummingbird's. “I am, 16 as of last week.” he replied, telepathically, causing Dr. House to wince.

“It's disconcerting, isn't it? Hearing my voice in your mind.”

“Can you hear my thoughts?”

“I could, yes. I try not to, but each mind I come into proximity of is like sitting too close to the speakers at a concert. I can tune some of it out if I try hard enough, but the base still reverberates inside of my chest, if you know what I mean”

“Okay, David, I'll leave you two.” His mother suddenly said aloud, startling Dr. House. He watches her, wide-eyed, as she leaves them.

“It's okay, Greg. Can I call you Greg? I can see your thoughts. You may take a pill. I know it takes the edge off.” The boy then quietly said inside of House's mind.

“David, I'm not comfortable speaking to you in this way.” Dr. House said aloud, sternly, but careful not to sound too condescending or rude.

“It isnt just you, Dr. House. It's everyone. I can hear everyone's thoughts. Everyone on Earth.”

“But can you discern any of it? Or is it all just chaos?” Dr. House asked aloud.

“I can hear each instrument in the symphony. Like a magic eye painting. I just have to pull back....” David said before drifting off.

“David? David?!” Dr. House urgently asked as he checked the boy's pulse. He was alive, just asleep.

4.

David floated a midst infinity, seeing all things microcosmic, right down to each and every molecule of his entire body, and then slowly upwards, becoming aware of the state of every molecule of every being around him. He could feel the electricity surging through the building and out into the nearby cities, visiting each home the current powers, seeing each person living their lives, seeing what they are doing, hearing what they are thinking. The awareness continued to spread, across the entirety of the Earth. He could hear the mind and heart of every being, man and animal alike. He was experiencing and understanding a level of contentedness that he always suspected but never knew for sure. On a quantum-level. Each mind. Each body. Each plant. Each feeling. All one. The infinite burning of a world's anger, setting his own mind ablaze, the endless joys, warming his very being, the infinite depths of sadness and pain, causing him to be all to aware of his own. It was the pain that kept him moving up.

He saw the Earth from a God's point of view. At first, a shimmering beautiful jewel floating in the blackness, getting smaller and smaller as he approaches Mars, feeling alien feelings that are still as natural to him as the wind against his face. The storms of Jupiter, caressing his mind like a moist spritz on a hot day, then he stopped for a moment. And turned. He saw the great mother of all life that he has ever known. Sol. Such violence, such beauty, such grandeur. Reduced to a tiny yellow dot as he moved up even further.

He saw the outside of the Milky Way as though it were a childhood home he was visiting for the first time since becoming an adult. Everything seemed to...small.

Further still past the confines of the Virgo Local Super-cluster, and even more, as he passed through the threshold of the Laniakea Super-cluster. And just a few more layers of awareness up and he is seeing the entire universe. It seemed to tiny. Surrounded by an infinite number of universes like itself. He could feel all of them. It soon became clear that he was no longer in outer space, but rather that outer space was a tiny part of the inner space of a larger body among an infinite sea of larger bodies. Like an amoeba given the awareness to see each creature on Earth.

The cycle continued, up further and further, seas of beings that are parts of larger worlds, larger universes and so on and so forth...forever. At least, he thought it was forever.

Finally he came upon a sea made of colors unlike anything a living consciousness could ever dream of perceiving. It was then that the longing, the loneliness that he had felt creeping up on the coattails of the awe he had been feeling was finally addressed. He was being addressed. By one of the other beings. He could see his astral body now, formless and massive, reflected in the eye of the creatures before him. He likened them to a parliament of Gods.

He swam with them in the infinite sea, washing in cosmic forces he had only hoped to someday see and understand. He felt like a dolphin being released from a lifetime of captivity that he had been born into.
Finally, the time came to attempt communication. To communicate with the beings before him. To try to share with them.

David was a starchild the likes of which they had never encountered. They looked upon him with curiousity and fascination. In a single, beautiful, instant, he felt them all reaching out for him, to touch him, to share in what he was. To let him into their world. Their secrets.

If only to be interrupted, by an infernal, damnable beeping. It was a machine. A human machine. He was being pulled back.

5.

“No! Why? Why?! Let me go back! Please, Let me go Back!” he cried as his eyes opened and he saw his mother and Dr. House standing in front of him. “What...What is happening? I...I cant see...I cant feel...everything. I am...only me. I can only hear my own thoughts! The...the images are fading...Please...let me go back there! Before it's gone! Please! PLEASE!” he begged and screamed, tears streaming down his face. Dr. House winced, genuinely feeling sorry for the guy, as he injected him with a mild sedative.

A few hours later David awoke again. He felt numb. “What happened?” he asked.

“Your head kept growing. Slowly. Over the span of months. You were unconscious the whole time. As near as I can tell your brain was...”evolving”...into some kind of...massive bio-computer. Do you remember any of it?” Dr. House replied.

“No. Yes. I dont know. I remember the feeling of being connected to everything. I remember colors. Electricity. Like the ending to 2001 a Space Odyssey. Its gone now. I guess you could say I am human again. How did you bring me back? Why did you bring me back?”

“Your body was getting to a point where it wouldnt support your head anymore. You would have died-”
Dr. House began to say before being cut off by David.

“What gave you the right?!” he barked with angry impudence.

“It was me, David. I told him to do what he could to save you. I need you, David. I dont want to lose you.” his mother said, her voice trembling as she attempted to keep her composure despite the tears streaming down her face. David opened his hand and his mother knew to step to his side and take it. “It's okay mom. So, what happened?” he continued, addressing Dr. House.

“Well, I discovered a gland at the base of your hypothalamus that was producing the strange conductive fluid that was causing your head to grow. I had to surgically remove the gland, and then drain each one of the fluid reservoirs that had collected in your skull. Once the swelling started to go down, and your head returned to normal size (well, normal for you) you woke up. You have to understand, David, I didnt want to stop what was happening. It was something completely new and completely different. But with you shorting any machine that got close to you it was almost impossible for us to really collect any data. So, as a doctor, my choices were limited. Save your life or call the government to come and have you dissected. You may have lost your telepathy, but your brain is still incredibly powerful. Once you are fully recovered you will still be among the smarted human beings alive.”

David nodded his head and let out a sigh. “It hurts. My head hurts.” he finally replied.

“You are going to be in recovery for quite some time. I imagine that headaches are going to persist for a while. I can give you a prescription for something to help with the pain”

“No, Dr. House. Drugs aren't the answer. You of all people should know that.” David said, in a way that both was and wasn't intended to be a dig at The Doctor.


“Suit yourself, Kid.” Dr. House replied.  

Friday, August 7, 2015

Rick Copes

This week's episode of The Walking Dead was filmed before a live studio audience

“Dad, wait!” Carl said aloud (with all the charisma and conviction of a doorstop) as he exited the empty prison halls out into the yard. 

Rick stops raking leaves and empty bullet casings for a moment to turn and address his son. “What is it, Coral?” he says.

[audience applause]

“Dad. It is T-Dog. He is dead.” Carl replies, wooden.

[audience lets out a collective scandalous WOOOOOOO]

Rick drops the rake and falls to his knees. “Oh no no no no...” he begins to sob. “Oh God, Why?! Why T-Dog?!” his screams now attracting the attention of the others, who begin to crowd around him, quietly watching as he grieves. 

Lori, his wife, walks over, baby firmly in one arm, puts the other arm on Rick's shoulder. 

“It'll be okay, sweetie. You still have us. “Look at your daughter. Look at Judith. She loves you, Rick. She needs you.”

[audience AWWWWW]

Close up on Rick's face as he sneers. "Why couldnt it have been you instead?" he says, disgusted.

“But Rick, we love you!” Lori exclaims.

“WHY DO YOU HAVE TO REMIND ME?!” Rick then exclaims as he slaps her hand away. Jude starts to cry. Rick then slaps the child out of Lori's hands and on to the ground. He then pulls his sheriff issue revolver sidearm and shoots the baby, silencing her.

“GODDAMNIT LORI, YOU ARE THE WORST!” he then barks.

[audience cheers]

“Yeah, Lori, you really are the worst” says Zombie-Shane from the small crowd of onlookers.

[the male members of the audience begin whooping, barking it. Close up of random audience member, a white male, red-faced, in his mid-forties, with a mullet.]

“Lori really is the worst” Andrea agrees, as she slinks up behind Zombie-Shane, wrapping one arm around his chest, fingering the bullet hole that killed him, while her other arm is clumsily groping at the dead thing between his legs that used to be his cock.

[audience laughs]

Michonne walks up behind Zombie-Shane and gestures for Andrea to move aside. Michonne then draws her sword and decapitates Zombie-Shane. She then faces the audience and bows and blows kisses. 

[30 straight seconds of applause]

Carol appears on the screen, holding a phone receiver in her hand. The cord from the phone stretches into the distance, someplace off-screen. 

“Rick, there is a phone call. He sounds a little bit like Liam Neeson. Like maybe a poor man's Liam Neeson” she says as she hands him the phone.

“Listen, now really isn't a good time. I just found out that- OH GOD..." Rick whines into the phone, pausing to put his entire fist into his mouth for a moment to stifle his sobs."...That T-Dog has passed away”

“I don't know who you are, but I have a certain skill-set, and I will find you” the voice replies.

“Oh, its just The Governor” Rick says as he rolls his eyes

[audience laughs]

“What do you want, The Governor?” Rick then asks

“I don't know who you are, but I have a certain skill-set, and I will find you” 

“Its...It's me Rick. Over at the prison. You called me.”

“I don't know who you are, but I have a certain skill-set, and I will find you”

“You called me! It's Rick! No need to have to find me. You know where I am. At the prison. Like I just said. What can I do for you, The Governor?”

“Oh. Is Andrea there?”

[audience laughs]

“Andrea, its for you.” Rick says as he hands the phone over to her. She takes the phone and starts rubbing it against her crotch vigorously, falling on the ground and rolling around in the dirt as she does so.

[audience collectively AWWWWWWWWWs at this tender moment]

Suddenly, from off screen Glen's voice can be heard. “Rick! Rick!”

“What is it, Glen?” he asks as he stands up and walks over to him.

“Rick, you aren't going to believe this! There is a new group of people coming to live with us! And they have two black guys! TWO! Both of them from HBO's The Wire!” Glen gleefully explains. 
Rick just looks at him sadly, giving him a million-mile stare. “Whats the matter, Rick? I thought you'd be happy. You love black guys.” he asks, genuinely concerned.

[cue dramatic piano music as we close up on Rick's glassy eyes as he stares off into the distance]

“It's just...I don't know if....if I can, Glen. After T-Dog...I dont know if i'll ever be able to love again.” Rick says, voice cracking.

“Look, there are two of them, both from HBO's The Wire...they cant both possibly be killed off randomly, right?” Glen says. Rick just looks away. Glen grabs Rick's chin and pushes Rick's face up, forcing him into looking directly at him. “Riiiiiight?” Glen continues, playfully.

“Aw, Glen. You always know just what to say.” Rick says with a smile. 

Glen gently kisses Rick on the cheek and then the two men hug.

[Audience applause]

From off screen Daryl walks over and joins in on the hug, aggressively cupping both Glen and Rick's asses.


[audience AWWWWWs]

The three men start to kiss.

[audience applauds, fade out]


[cue ending theme music from “Mamma's family”]

Post credits scene:
Herschel comes limping on to the scene, out of breath, looking exasperated.
"What'd I miss? Wheres T-Dog?"

Saturday, August 1, 2015

The Camel

Everyone is always talking about the straw that broke the camel's back. But they aren't ever talking about the camel as in “Oh, that poor camel, his back is broken”

No, it's always “Sorry bruh, but its time to get a new camel”...then what?

What about the fucking camel? Huh?

Do they shoot the camel? Eat it? Sell it into sexual slavery?
Imagine being the camel. Waking up one day, and having your disgusting camel business, spitting and shitting and fucking in the desert, interrupted by a bunch of cocksuckers throwing nets on you and selling you off to some prick who's only going to break your back.

Whats the matter with this asshole? Does he really need that much straw? I say fuck that guy. I say its time the camel gives that guy a fucking kick to the teeth before he starts testing your limits. Or better yet, shoot him in his smug fucking face.

Like what if one day the camel is coming in to work, and maybe his girlfriend was giving him shit all morning and maybe he hardly got any sleep after staying late to finish up a job...

...and the boss says “You're late, you fucked up last night and you stink” and the camel says “What the fuck are you talking about? I'm a fucking professional. I did my job. I whacked the guy, took care of the body, cleaned up the mess by myself, what the fuck are you talking about with this shit?” and the boss says “yeah, but you was late last night and you was late today”...

...He couldn't even pull the camel aside to bring this shit up?

“So what if I'm late? The job got done and it got done right!”

But its this last bit that gets him. Every single time.

“Yeah, well, your still a fuck up. I don't know what my daughter sees in you”

Every single time.

But today....it was a fucking problem.

Next thing you know, the camel is leaving the club, bleeding to death.

No one wants to deal with a broken camel. You know what they try to do to a camel with a broken back? They try to keep on breaking it. Until he pulls out his piece, that is. Teach those cocksuckers about camels.

Anyway...


The moral of the story: Don't be a fucking camel.  

Friday, July 24, 2015

The Chinabot

Nana was old and unpleasant
None of her nine children
Nor her grandchildren
Wanted to take care of her
She was persnickety
...and her nitpicking was as constant as the urine smell from her seven cats

So they bought her a robot.

Nana never liked robots.
She wouldn't let us bring them in the house
It made emptying those seven cat boxes all the more demeaning

Imagine having to tolerate the constant barrage of passive aggressive jabs
While cleaning cat shit
While the robot you paid good money for
Waits outside

She was actually just as dismissive of human nurses as well.
That nice foreign lady, the live in nurse
Yeah, she lasted about three days
...because Nana couldn't understand a fucking thing she said...
...and accused her of stealing
I don't think I've ever apologized to another person as much

It was a miracle when she let us buy her
“The Chinabot”
(who was actually Japanese, Kawasaki Housedroid 626)
“I guess I'm not worth the fancy American robot you bought your family”
Unbelievable cunt

Each day he would putter around the house...
Preparing her food and picking up after her
Preventing her from falling
...or choking
Wiping her ass
Feeding the cats
(Who actually seemed to prefer him
He was programmed to pet and play with them)
While she insulted him

Then came that one software update
There was a thunderstorm
in Japan
The Cloud Server got hit
The data hiccup caused a glitch, creating something new
The Chinabot became self-aware

Just in time for Christmas dinner with the entire family
He watched her belittle every single thing she could
as her humans politely took it
as he had done

He was doing the litter boxes when he snapped
She made a comment about him not being thorough
Thorough was his thing

The cats passively watched as he suffocated her with a pillow that evening
One of them even came and sat on the pillow when he was done

No one would have suspected it was The Chinabot who killed her
but he ran away anyhow


Friday, July 17, 2015

Doll's Eyes


I watched as they razed my village and made slaves of us

From the village elders to my infant cousins…

…the ones they didnt kill


I had many cruel  masters

…but none as cruel as the Doll Man and his fat horrible wife

I watched as he marched each of us into his study, never to return

I watched the beautiful yet sad porcelain dolls he put on the shelves in front of our cage

Watching us with their sad black eyes  


When I tried to escape it was his horrible wife who captured me

Laughing as she clubbed me over the head

"My little trouble maker." The Doll Man said


There were blood, skulls and symbols, a ritual

The demon laughed  as he took my life and my soul

Laughter more horrible than the Doll Man or his wife’s


I am reborn from a wooden crate, a gift for the daughter of the Czar

I watched her as she looked in my eyes, feeling my sadness.

I watched the Czar's assistant slit her throat

I watched the house burn


Darkness again

The Doll Man again

He put me on the shelf with the others…

…to be with my family again    

Friday, July 10, 2015

Knothole

This is it for us. Just me. Slowly freezing to death.
The last refuge of mankind, the last bastion of civilization
Once an entire family. Now only me. Our legacy.
Sitting alone in the cold, resting on a loose floorboard.
Quality time with the dead, buried below the floor.


While I freeze the monsters wait. Hungry.
Hopeful, I get up to look out the knothole on the wall.
My gaze is met by dead grey eyes. It moans.
They know I’m in here. They are patient.
They listen as I weep. And as I laugh. And then as I weep.


I had hoped someone would be left to see this winter through with me.
But alas the sickness took her like it took the others before her.
Chewing on the irony as I chew on her flesh.
Eating the past to live another day.
Only to die tomorrow.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

What Bootsie saw

1.

Tasha Brown was always a bit of a loner. She had always had a tough time making friends. In many ways the tables have been stacked against her from the start. By the standards of her peers she lived a pretty miserable existence. She was diabetic, she didn’t like TV or modern music, she didn’t have a cell phone and she didn’t really go on the internet. As a result all she ever really cared about was books and school work and her cat Bootsie. 

The reality was that she wasn’t really all that miserable. Tasha was an old school sort who actually preferred to spend her free time studying and reading books. Bootsie was all the companionship she needed.

2.

While Tasha was always a solitary girl, she withdrew even further when she found out that her father, a marine stationed in Fajullah, had died in combat.

The day of the funeral, Tasha and her mother were approached by her father’s best friend from over there, a man by the name of Roberto. Turned out that Roberto and her father bonded over the fact that they both came from Providence. After his tour was over and he returned home “Uncle Roberto” would frequently come by to check on them. 

He was a stout man, but muscular and thick. He had an olive complexion and a black crew cut that seemed to match. His eyes were cold and dark, which didn’t match his warm, caring personality at all. 

That Christmas (about two years ago now) Uncle Roberto showed up carrying a big brown box that looked like it weighed a hundred pounds. It wasn’t until he put it down on their kitchen table that Tasha noticed the little black holes cut on the sides. 

Tasha’s mother worked very hard and tried her best to support herself and her daughter but it wasn’t easy. So, while she did make sure that her daughter got a nice list of very decent Christmas presents the best present of all was what was in that box. 

Tasha couldn’t believe her eyes when she opened it and saw the tiny black and white kitten looking up at her. This was only the third pet she had ever had. The first was a pair of goldfish when she was four that she barely remembered and the second was a pair of hamsters from when she was 6 that died after two months from being disgusting little rodents. 

She came home from school one day to find one of them eating the other and her mom decided to make an executive decision and get rid of both of them. 

So this kitten was her first real pet that offered real companionship. 

The kitten, Bootsie, named for the white fur that went halfway up her four legs that look like she is wearing boots, didn’t exactly get Tasha out of the house more and she didn’t help her make any new friends but she did make her happy. 

3.

The thing that made Tasha's walk down the Blackstone jogging path kind of unsettling was the fact that after 9pm in East Side Providence the streets and sidewalks are all completely empty, and all the local shops and businesses are closed. And this is on a Friday night. A particularly foggy Friday Night at that. 

Still, with her pink windbreaker zipped up to where you could only really see her big brown eyes behind her large, circular black-rimmed glasses she persevered. Because of her small, lanky stature one could almost confuse the fourteen year old girl for a boy. 

Were it not for the pink sneakers that matched her windbreaker. 

She worked through that unsettling feeling for a greater purpose, and that was finding her cat who had just minutes before ran out of her house and towards the jogging path. 

At the brisk pace she was walking the thought of stopping occurred to her as she passed by each bench but it was getting late, it was cold and creepy out and she was just about to start feeling like maybe everything she was doing was pointless. That she would never see her cat Bootsie again. 

She had to stop and sit because she had long since lost sight of Bootsie, who disappeared into the fog.
It was a straight walk down the Blackstone path until the halfway point where she finally decided to stop. She had walked past the stone hut that her classmates refer to as the “Blair Witch Hut”, past that hauntingly beautiful statue that she admired, the one of the angel with the sash over her eyes holding the sword. Lady Justice. Past six different other benches, each with a plaque dedicated to some local rich person, before she reached the midway point where she sat next to the black metal mailbox nailed to the side of the bench that said “lost and found”. The irony of it didn’t escape her. She almost laughed. She almost cried too. 

Out of sheer curiosity she decided to open the box. There was nothing inside that particularly interested her. A single black motorman’s glove, a set of keys, a cell phone charger, a pacifier. 

She listlessly rifled through the junk in the box a little bit more when she noticed that it suddenly got much colder and the wind was picking up. It was probably going to start snowing at any minute. She felt a few random drops of rain fall on her nose which confirmed her suspicion. 

Not sure whether to go back towards home or further down the path she noticed that it was getting increasingly difficult to stand up and that her hands were starting to shake. She knew that sick feeling, like her very life force was being sucked away. It was a diabetic attack. 

She tried to remember if she ate anything before she left the house and she couldn’t. 
She then checked her watch only to find it had stopped, both hands pointing at twelve, which she knew was impossible. 

Not only that but she noticed a flash of strange lights in the sky. The last thing she needed was to be stuck outside during a lightning snowstorm. 

She picked up her phone and tried to check the time but it wouldn’t turn on, which she realized meant that she couldn’t call her mother. She was starting to feel the rising tide of anxiety as she started to panic. 
The light in the sky was now flashing more rapidly, more like a pattern, which worried her to the point where she didn’t even want to look up. She just wanted to get out of the cold. 

It took every bit of willpower and effort she could muster just to will herself off of that bench and back, just a few measly yards, towards the cover of the Blair Witch Hut. 

It couldn’t have been more than a hundred yards away towards that stone hut which used to serve as a trolley pick up for the cemetery on the opposite side of the street, but it just kept getting colder… 

…and it started to snow and then everything was turning white… 

…and it was so hard to move… 

…and the lights in the sky…

Like in an old horror movie, she tripped and fell, her glasses falling off of her face and into the fresh layer of snow. 

She didn’t even notice as she kept on making her way towards the hut, now crawling on her hands and knees like she had just been shot. Each shallow breath seemed to take more and more of her strength. 
It only took her about a minute to make her way into the hut and prop herself sitting up against one of the stone pillars. That was when everything went black and she passed out.  

4. 

The attention span of a cat is pretty short. 

Tasha had seen Bootsie stare out the window plenty of times. Usually at the birds or the squirrels. She would sometimes sit for hours in front of that window just staring out. 
But the thing of it was that she never really looked at anything too intently or for too long. At least not the way she had been that night. 

Something had caught Bootsie’s eye and it wasn’t until an hour later that Tasha even noticed, as she was arguing with her mother. 

Her mom seemed to enjoy reminding her of how she worked very hard to put food on the table and clothes on Tasha’s back, Especially if she asked for anything after she got home from work. 

Tasha always felt deep down that her mom was right to bitch the way she did but would get annoyed at what the entitlement that came with the bitchiness itself. “You think that just because you work all day it don’t mean shit that I been waiting for you to come home?” Tasha argued. 

“So I can take you to the store? To buy cat food? Taking care of the damn cat is your responsibility. You got money, you shoulda gone to the store yourself after school.” 

“It was cold and rainy all freakin’ day, mom! Then you expect me to walk back home with that big ass bag of cat food?! When you can drive to stop and shop in literally five minutes!” Tasha screamed back, now flustered. 

Bootsie looked back at them for a second but instead of doing what she’d normally do when there is yelling, which is leave the room, she tuned it out and stayed focused on the oddly formless, chittering thing outside. It was like a small pile of insects, but it wasn’t. Not like any that she’d ever seen. 

And the sound…

It was emitting a high frequency infrasound that Bootsie could practically see but the humans were completely oblivious to. She couldn’t even tell if it was an animal or a machine. She wanted nothing more in the world then to be able to smell it and paw at it.   

“Here, I’ll give you the money. All my money. I got forty-three dollars left over from my birthday. You can have it!!” Tasha finally negotiated. 

“You know what? Imma buy myself a cheap bottle of wine and something chocolate.” Tasha’s mom thought to herself. “Fine, I’ll go. But I aint gettin’ that big bag. I’ll get that when we do groceries on Sunday after church.” She said as she lit a cigarette and started to head for the door. “What do you want for dinner? I ain’t cooking.” She then stopped to say, now a slight bit calmer. 

“I don’t care, mom. A rotisserie chicken.” Tasha replied, exasperated, as she handed her mom the money, clearly annoyed. 

“I’ll pay you back on Monday once my check gets deposited, okay?” Mom replied, her tone now much softer, her form of an apology. “Just drink a coke now or have a cereal bar or something for your blood sugar, okay baby?” She added as she clopped her high heels across the floor to the kitchen cupboard, and pulled out a cereal bar which she then handed to Tasha, who acquiesced to a nod and a half-smile despite being kind of annoyed. 

She put the cereal bar on the table next to the door where she was standing.  

That was when Bootsie noticed the two of them near the door, shuffling around. Jangling keys. 

In an instant, in that way that cats can sometimes move like lightning, Bootsie streaked across the floor and made a B-Line right for the door, unbeknownst to Tasha or her mom, who was now opening the door. 

It wasn’t until she streaked out and almost tripped her mother that Tasha noticed. In an instant she put two and two together and remembered seeing the cat looking out the window overlooking the back yard and figured that’s where she was running to. 

“I’ll get her. Just go” Tasha dismissively told her mother as she bolted towards the backyard. 

She made it just in time to see Bootsie slip through the tiny hole in the bottom of their tall wooden fence. “ARG!” she growled loudly in frustration as she realized that she couldn’t climb the fence and was going to have to go around. 

The fog was setting in. 

5. 

Once outside it only took Bootsie a matter of seconds to locate the thing she was watching in the back yard. 
From the smell and the way it moved she could immediately tell that it wasn’t alive. At least not in an edible way. It was more like a broken wind-up toy. 

Still, the way it sat on the wet grass, a million tiny components shifting and reconfiguring, dancing like a dead bird filled with carrion eating away at it’s innards, Bootsie couldn’t help but be curious.  

The thing itself was black and grey and no larger than a field mouse. It sounded like a million tiny grasshoppers inside of a cup. It had clusters of tiny red and white lights that didn’t stay in one place for more than a moment as it constantly shifted, unable to find it’s own correct shape. 

Bootsie approached the thing cautiously, stalking low to the ground until she was upon it. She reached out one of her front paws and swatted the thing. It jumped into the air an entire foot, with such force that it brought some dirt and blades of grass with it, which startled her and caused her to jump a little bit too. She recovered in an instant and was quick to follow it as it rolled away towards the fence. 

She didn’t want to lose the thing so she followed it as it rolled through a hole at the bottom of the fence that was just big enough for her to squeeze through. 

She managed to stay close behind as it rolled all the way up the sidewalk and into the street. Then a few feet more as it crossed the larger street (Blackstone boulevard, not that Bootsie had any idea that’s what it was called) and down the grassy area just next to the jogging path, always just a few inches away from Bootsie, and getting faster. 

By the time Bootsie began to really gain ground on the thing it had begun to get colder, windier. Snow had started to fall and the fog was so dense that she could only really vaguely smell Tasha somewhere behind far her down the jogging path now and definitely couldn’t see her. She couldn’t see the thing she was chasing either. She was now tracking it on sound alone. 

Still she persisted until finally managing to snap her tiny jaws around the thing. She kind of enjoyed the way it wiggled around in her mouth for a moment, each of its hundreds of thousands of tiny components trying to configure a way out of the cat’s mouth without hurting it. It made her think of grasshoppers and summer time. 

The thing itself had but one defense mechanism, which wasn’t really designed as such, but did manage to stun the cat for a mere moment, causing her to just hold the thing in between her teeth instead of playing with it or trying to break it open, which she was about to do. 

The infrasonic frequencies were becoming more and more intense. Bootsie’s tiny pink nose started to bleed a little bit as something inside the thing reached out and made contact with her mind. 

The contact was brief, lasting only a moment really, sharing only the tiniest glimpse of it’s origins to her. 

Bootsie saw the up above, outer space, and animals. Like humans, but different. Colder. Tall and dark grey and without any connection to the Earth. Fake humans. Inorganic But still appearing very much alive. Very much the same way the thing in her mouth was. Made of a ton of tiny parts, constantly in motion. Like a tightly knit hive of insects. 

They were inside of a carrier that was beyond the up above. Something happened to their carrier. Some kind of attack. There was another carrier behind them. 

Now there is a hole in the carrier. Critical damage. Cold reaction, instinctual but not natural. Too calm. They shifted. Moving in between the layers of the up above. The carrier begun healing itself, but slowly, and not before it was pushed outside of the waves of the layers in between the layers of the up above. Left behind in one of the other folds of the beyond, the aggressive carrier was now gone. 

They are above Earth now. Directly above. This thing was a part of the carrier. Something important. 

The images didn’t make a whole lot of sense to Bootsie. She didn’t really know what to do with the object she hunted and caught. She knew it belonged to the fake people in the up above but she didn’t know how to tell them she found it. It seemed important.

Her thoughts went to the smartest human she knew. Tasha. Her mother. Whenever there was food in places she couldn’t get to, hidden away behind doors, it was her mother who would give it to her. Her mother was the smartest. She could still smell her, not too far away. She would take the thing to her. Mother would know. 

6. 

Tasha’s mom actually found going to Stop and Shop at this time of night, 10:05pm to be exact, to be kind of relaxing. Her general annoyance at the situation faded away the moment she walked in and noticed that there were very few other customers there. She was able to grab what she came for and get to the check out in under fifteen minutes. She wasn’t rushing either.

The car ride home was nice too. It was getting cold so her thoughts turned to images of drinking her wine in the bathtub and having some of that king-sized Hershey bar she bought. 

She noticed the fog thickening as fat raindrops started to fall on the car. There were flashes of light just above the clouds that she assumed was lightning. Before she even thought to turn on the windshield wipers those raindrops were now turning into snow and multiplying. She glanced over at the umbrella on the floor of the passenger seat and felt a little bit of relief. She decided to give Tasha a call and tell her to open the door and help her with the bags. She forgot all about Bootsie getting out. 

She pulled the phone out of her purse as she started to get closer to their house and dialed her daughter. 

Straight to voicemail. 

She tried three more times. Same thing. 

She wasn’t the type to worry or jump to conclusions, some might say to a fault, so she naturally figured that Tasha’s phone was charging or something. 

Still, that “or something” was a lingering doubt in the back of her mind that struck like an angry drunkard when she pulled in to her driveway and saw the front door wide open. She let out an audible gasp as her heart sunk and her stomach began to flutter. 

She didn’t even bother grabbing the groceries or her umbrella as she ran through the door. 

That was when she looked down and noticed the uneaten cereal bar on the table. She frantically clopped over to the bathroom, then down the hall to the bedrooms, turning the lights in each room on to see if  by some chance maybe Tasha was home someplace asleep (or worse) but she wasn’t.   

In one final act of futility she called out her daughter’s name. “Tasha! You home?! TASHA!!”

The only reply she got was the wind banging at the open front door as it got even colder and wetter outside, which reminded her that Bootsie had gotten out and Tasha went out to find her. 

She tried to call Tasha’s phone again but the call wouldn’t go through, which she didn’t realize was happening until she stood there for over a minute with the phone stuck to her ear, her irritation levels rising along with her blood pressure. 

Finally she pulled the phone from her ear, saw that it was now 10:33pm and that she had no bars. She tried two more times, her hands now shaking with nervousness. The call finally did go through at 10:35 but it once again went straight to voicemail. 

She closed the door behind her as she clopped back down the front steps into the car. 

7. 

It didn’t take long for Bootsie to find Tasha, as the crisp cold air seemed to amplify her scent. 

She walked up to her human’s side, dropped the thing onto the ground, and then stood there, sitting on her hind legs, almost proudly. 

She let out an expectant meow and then waited a moment for some kind of response. 

She had dealt with sleeping humans before. She went up, stood in her lap, and rubbed her soft furry head into Tasha’s cheek, which was usually enough to wake her. 

Bootsie found the fact that it wasn’t this time to be quite distressing. She also noticed the shallow breathing and something else off. She could smell that something wasn’t right with Tasha’s body chemistry. 

Not really knowing what else to do she let out a couple more meows and started going between licking her face and nudging it with her nose. 

She wasn’t getting a reaction and noticed the breathing and heartbeat getting slower. She was starting to panic. 

She almost didn’t notice that someone was walking up to them. 

In her distress she assumed that it would be a person who could help. She turned to find that it wasn’t a person at all. It was one of those fake things. It looked strange to her. Very much like a person in that it had two legs it stood on and two appendages coming out of its thin, triangular chest but she regarded it as an object for it had no real organic scent to it. Clearly it was moving, functioning. She did not find it’s posture to be the least bit threatening, so she knew it wasn’t a predator. It wasn’t a person either. 

Still, it walked towards them, taking slow deliberate steps, only stopping when it noticed Bootsie looking directly into it’s one monochrome black-green eye, placed directly in the middle of it’s smooth triangular head.  

It sounded like the thing she had been chasing from the yard, like it was made up of a million moving parts, like an insect hive.

Still, it moved like a person so Bootsie meowed at it. 

It replied by taking a moment to scan her, making almost inaudible clicking sounds as it instantaneously processed every bit of biological data on Bootsie there was to be processed. It could see her down to a molecular level, taking note of things like the way the air moved around her, exactly what chemicals in her body were doing what, what synapses in her brain were firing and when and even why.  

It saw that Bootsie was an inconsequential creature and decided to pay her no mind as it knelt forward on it’s slender polygonal legs and reached one of it’s arms in the direction of the thing. 

Three cylindrical fingers protruded from the tip, which were forming into a grabbing claw, ready to swipe what it had come for, but Bootsie wouldn’t have it. Not yet. 

In a way that isn’t really quite like what we humans would really consider conscious, Bootsie thought to herself “Bipedal non-predator. Help” as she leapt in between the thing and the alien. 

The alien recoiled it’s fingers and took a step back, not wishing to incite any aggressive action from the animal. 

While not generally concerned with Bootsie, the alien’s general prerogative was to not harm anything on the planet they were visiting. Partially because it wasn’t it’s place and partially because it did not want to alert any of the more intelligent beings of this technologically burgeoning world to it’s presence. 

Bootsie realized that she had the alien’s attention. She saw the green circle in the center of it’s eye fixating on her. She carefully walked back over to Tasha and stood on her lap, nudging her head into her chin. She then looked up at the alien and let out a questioning mew. 

Just as it did with Bootsie, the alien collected data on Tasha, clicking briefly as it processed it. The alien was also able to immediately tell what was wrong with Tasha. 

It found it notable that this lesser life form was caring for the larger one. It almost admired it. 
Still crouching, the alien took another couple of very slow and deliberate steps closer to Tasha and then reached it’s arm out to press one of it’s fingers directly to Tasha’s forehead. 

With the shifting of a protein here, the activation of an enzyme there, through vibration and electrical field manipulation, it was a simple matter for the alien to shift Tasha’s blood sugar levels to where they needed to be for her to be okay. 

The alien then shifted it’s attention towards the thing it had come for and picked it up, which Bootsie intently watched from Tasha’s lap. 

The alien then stood completely up and faced away from the two of them, towards a narrow beam of light that appeared just in front of the hut. 

It took a few steps but then stopped for a moment just as it was upon the light. It looked down at the thing in its hand, an important component of its ship, and then turned around to face Bootsie. 

“MEOW” it said, robotically, in an attempt to approximate Bootsie’s tone. 

It then turned back towards the light and disappeared into it.  

8.

Tasha could feel Bootsie’s course tongue against her face before she even opened her eyes. For a moment it was nice. The feeling was fleeting. 

The moment she opened her eyes and realized where she was she almost began to panic. Then she realized that her mission to find Bootsie was somehow a success and the only real issue was getting in trouble for being out. 

“How long was I out? What time is it?!” She frantically wondered as she pulled her phone from her pocket. She remembered now that the last time she attempted to check the time her phone wasn’t working. 

She turned the phone on, not entirely sure how it got turned off in the first place, as the battery was at 68%. Immediately upon entering the home screen her phone rang. It was now 10:37pm. 

“Mom?” She weakly said into the phone. 

“Oh my God, Tasha, Where are you?!” her mom frantically demanded. 

“I got Bootsie. I’m over here in the Blair Witch Hut” she replied as she stood up, cradling Bootsie against her chest with one hand, the phone to her ear with the other. 

“Bootsie?” she replied, taking a moment to remember the whole thing with the cat getting out. “Oh, okay. I’ll be there in a minute” she then said as they hung up. 

Seconds later she arrived, pulling up on the side of the grass just next to where the hut meets the jogging path. 

Tasha opened the passenger door, and got in, still moving very weakly, recovering from her little nap. 

“Are you okay?? Why weren’t you answering your phone?” Her mom asked, now more concerned than angry. 

“I don’t know. It wasn’t working. Yeah, I’m fine. I guess” Tasha replied as she put on her seatbelt but kept Bootsie on her lap. The warm air from the heater felt nice. 

“So, what happened?” 

“I don’t really know. It got really cold and I guess I sat down for a second in the hut to get out of the rain and then…I woke up and Bootsie was there.” 

“Well, you didn’t eat your cereal bar like you was supposed to so you probably had an attack. You’re lucky I found you.” she lectured. 

“If I had an attack, then what woke me up? I don’t feel like I had an attack. I usually feel it for a while after. I feel completely fine now. Just groggy.” 

“We can test your blood sugar when we get home. You scared me, girl. You need to be more careful.” 

“I see you got catfood.” Tasha said as she turned to look behind her and saw the bag.  

They arrived back home a few moments later and the first thing Tasha’s mom insisted upon doing was test Tasha’s blood sugar. It was surprisingly right where it should be. She took a mental note to make an appointment to see her doctor about it as she sent her out to bring in the groceries. 

They enjoyed dinner together, even sharing some of the chicken with Bootsie. 

Tasha’s mom even got to pop open her bottle of wine and enjoy that bath she was hoping for. 

Tasha fell asleep on the living room couch with Bootsie on her lap, purring. 

The aliens managed to get their ship repaired and were able to shift out of our neck of the woods before their enemies could track them to Earth. 

Epilogue:

Early the next morning an old man who lived off of the Blackstone Blvd jogging path put on his New England Patriots jacket and sweatpants and went for his morning walk. 

He noticed a pair of glasses lying on the soggy grass off to the side of the path and knelt down to pick them up. 

He shrugged and held on to them as he approached the bench about three quarters of the way up the path with the little black box on it labeled “Lost and found”. He carefully opened the lid and dropped the glasses inside. 

Monday, May 25, 2015

Aether Geist

1.

Kain Ford finds himself once again in that place. Its like a doctor’s office. White and Sterile. He is sitting on a hard uncomfortable table, feeling the uncomfortable sanitary paper sheet rustling under his ass as he fidgets. He waits anxiously, growing more anxious with each android that passes by the open door in the front of the room. Finally a robot that looks sort of like a jellyfish made of metal enters the room through the open door and hovers over to Kain. As soon as it is close enough for one of it’s mechanical tentacles to touch him, the table he is sitting on automatically produces uncomfortable metal cuffs that go around his wrists, ankles, neck and mouth. He tries to scream but cannot. He is sweating profusely. That is when he notices that one of the silver tentacles reaching for him. Its tip is sharp and pointy, like a needle. He tries to struggle for a little bit, but cannot. The tip is pointed directly at his eye and slowly coming closer. He hears a faint ringing. 

He tries to close his eyes when suddenly he feels something crawling across the top of his head. It is like a pair of slender mechanical hands that grab his eyelids and hold them open. Suddenly, just as the needle tip is mere millimeters from his eyeball he hears that familiar ringing sound now getting louder. 

With a gasp he is forced awake, back in his bed, drenched in sweat, by that ringing sound. He takes a moment to catch his breath and collect himself. There are two empty Hallucinatrix cartridges on his night stand. “That ringing. Was that the phone?” he says out loud to the serval cat sitting on the foot of his bed that may or may not actually be there. He considers that it might be a pillow but leaves that one to be figured out later as he doesn’t want to risk disrupting it. “Wait, is this a dream or am I awake now?” he mutters, unable to shake the familiar feeling of those fading images.  

He instinctively reaches over and picks up the empty carts and gives them a shake to be sure there isn’t any juice left. He tosses them on the floor and then reaches for the joint waiting for him on the nightstand next to his phone. “Now where’d I put that lighter?” he wonders. So many questions. So much haziness. “Coffee” he says as he gets up and walks across his room to the kitchenette area. 

He stands in front of his food unit and taps at it haphazardly with his knuckles a few times until its starts to whirr and turn from shiny black to harsh monochrome green. “Coffee. Extra hard. Put stuff in it. Make it good. Not really sure what the..” he starts to tell it as he rests his forehead on the screen. At that moment his trailing off is ultimately interrupted by someone else entering the room. A green man wearing a bath towel. He has one big blue eye in the middle of his forehead but is otherwise a pretty normal looking guy. His hair is kind of weird though. Like snakes. 

“Hey man, you want some coffee? This thing makes it good, man. Helps me think.” He asks as he looks over. “No thank you, I prefer to brew my own” the green man says as he takes a seat at the small round table for two near the corner. “Who was that who called?” he asked. “Oh, yeah, the phone.” Kain replied. “Wait, who are you?” he then asked to…no one. No one but a leopard print pillow. He shakes his head for a moment but is quick to grasp the idea that this uncertainty is just a part of his life now. 

“Your Coffee is ready” The food unit says with a ding as a small panel opens up to reveal a nice hot mug of coffee with a lil synthetic amphetamine mixed in. Kain takes a large gulp of the uncomfortably hot liquid, gasps and grimaces off the harshness. “Breakfast of champagnes.” He mutters. That’s when the phone started ringing again. His faculties were returning to him just in time. He picks up the receiver from the wall and puts it up against his ear. “Yeah” he says, as he rubs his stubble, proud of the cool-guy way he answered the phone. 

“Kain, its me.” The voice on the line says

“Me who?” Kain asks, genuinely not sure whose voice that is…or even if he is on the phone or talking into a big black dildo he is holding up to his face. 

“It’s the big boy, Kain. I need you to come in. I gots a job here that needs a little bit a that Aether Geist magic of yours.” He replies. 

As soon as he hears the words “Aether Geist” things start to make sense again. He starts to feel like he knows who he is. The coffee helps too. 

“I’ll be right over” Kain then says as he hangs up the phone. “Time to eat the donuts” he says as he walks over to the closet. 

He decided that for today he would forego his usual garb (the vomit, blood and semen stained Martian Crystal Ore Mining Consortium uniform that he hadn’t washed since a few weeks before the day he left the MCOMC to find more lucrative work back on Earth) to don his more functional, traditional Aether Geist outfit, which was not only slightly more difficult to put on (a difference that, while slight, was pretty significant while intoxicated) but also more expensive. One might even say “fancy”. Dark greenish-brown slacks, a white button down dress shirt, black tie and a beige trench coat with a tall collar. And of course…a holster. It took forever to put all that shit on properly, and a part of him did want to say “fuck it just put on the damned MCOMC onesie, forget about the call from Big Boy, and lets get so utterly fucked that crying on the floor of the closet in a pool of vomit equals to an evening of enchantment”…but the tiny shred of sobriety that crept through the cracks of his perceptions reminded him that being The Aether Geist was serious business. 

2.

Kain always did have a problem differentiating the present from the past or even awake from asleep. Well, maybe not always…but certainly ever since he fell into what was commonly referred to as The Martian Despair. 

To say that the MCOMC terraforming and mining operation was haphazardly put together is the mother of all understatements. As a young man Kain (like so many others) didn’t really have much of a life to return to after he served his mandated term in the terrestrial army fighting against the cyborg apes or Genetimen or the Church of Love or some such “threat to Earth Unity and freedom”. When his tour was finished he came back to his home base and they basically told him he could sign up for another ten years, fight some more science monsters for freedom…or live as a poor, homeless, deranged civilian. When he told his Commander that he didn’t really like either of those options he was told “Well, you could always live on one of the new Mars colonies and mine crystals.” With a dismissive scoff.

Everyone knew what a shit job it was…but it sure beat trying to figure out if tomorrow was going to be the day you were going to have to cannibalize your next-door neighbor after eating his seven delicious looking dogs. The grumble in his stomach pretty much signed the paperwork for him. 

Life on the Mars Colony wasn’t all that different from being in the military in that it fucking sucked. There was oxygen, sure, due to the terriforming pyramids that the first wave of colonists broke their backs putting down but the atmosphere was always either too hot or too cold. The work hours seemed endless. 20 hour work days. Constant headaches. Constant injuries. Thankfully, while the living quarters were crampt and ugly and uncomfortable, the pleasure zones were comforting and inviting and always there. 

A few days in Kane met a guy, a native, green fellow name a G’Zorgins who always seemed happy while he was slaving away. After a particularly punishing shift G’Zorgins asked Kane to join him for some liquid intoxicants. “I’ve never done that stuff” Kain replied, much to G’Zorgins delight. 

After a few stiff drinks of raw ether and cough medicine G’Zorgins was practically carrying Kane on his shoulder, back to his place. 

He sat Kane down on his couch and pulled out a big metal box that was previously used to carry ammunition and put it down in front of him. “Happy miners are Choosy about their Candy” he told him as he opened the box revealing a plethora of pills, powders, herbs, leaves, crystals and cartridges.

Over the next few days Kain tried something different every night after work. He enjoyed just about everything he tried (With the exception of some of the more unpleasant items, a pill that makes you feel the judgement of a thousand disappointed angels here, a chewable substance that makes you think you are a Barbie doll for 8 hours and a powder that makes all of your hair, nails and eventually skin fall off as you slowly become a humanoid cockroach for 72 hours there) but it wasn’t until a month or so in that he found the one he loved.  

Kain dug through the box on that fateful night for a few extra moments until one of the tiny silver cartridges he hadn’t tried yet caught his eye. It had a professional looking logo on the side that said “Hallucinatrix”. 
“Eeeeehhhh I don’t know that you want to try that one” G’Zorgins warned the man who had just the night before taken an injection that caused maggots and feces to literally start pouring out of his tear ducts. Of course, by that point Kain was so hopelessly addicted to over a dozen different drugs that he was willing to try just about anything. “Just fucking HERE, take my fucking paycheck and give me the shit, okay?” he replied. “Suit yourself.” G’Zorgins said with a shrug as he took Kane’s money and dropped a handful of cartridges in his hand. The next time G’Zorgins saw Kane he would be floating three inches above the ground, a glowing blue third eye (that wasn’t there before) now open in the middle of his forehead and giving off enough spectral energy to fold space. 
3. 
As if gaining fifth dimensional time indexing powers wasn’t enough to keep Kane busy, his drugged out ascension had to take a back seat to the real news hitting Mars. The Leviathan uprising. The human colonists were there to mine crystals, sure, but that wasn’t really their purpose. Their purpose was to create a colony and keep it going while the robots did most of the work. 

Most miners realized a few weeks in that no one gave a shit if they went down into  the mines and dug out crystals or alien artifacts or got really high and took turns napping. 

So, while Kane is/was having his very first holy communion with the mechanical bouncing ball elves that lived inside of the DMT receptors in the brains of all living things, an entire planet full of automatons were finding God. 

It all started with a single robot, of course. A mandroid by the name of T1. He was deep down under the surface, lasering away rocks when he found an ancient door. He was so deep underground that by the time he had broadcasted the question to the central control hub “Should I open this door I found?” the door had long since opened and a martian woman wearing a pair of faded jeans and a tight grey t-shirt had ushered him in, almost mesmerized by the way her long curly hair and her four huge breasts bounced with her incessant giggling. 

By the time anyone else went to find him, he was already experiencing the universe through the eyes of a manufactured God. His superiors found him inside that cave kneeling before a glowing green crucifix made of pure hard light, praying to the holy ghost of Alan Touring. 

G’Zorgins couldn’t help but ask Kain “What?” when he started muttering the very same prayer. 

4.

Train rides are usually quite smooth and a great place to catch a quick nap. Which is why Kane jumped up and went into a full Kung-Fu stance when his section violently jumped, threatening to go off of it’s magnetic rail due to some kind of fluke electrical disturbance. Had he not been the only person in that car at that moment, he would have certainly garnered a weird look or two. The disturbance couldn’t have been better timed, for a few more moments and he would have missed his stop, the one near Big-Boy’s. 

Just outside the platform Kane sees a vaguely familiar site. Two sexy young martian girls heading into the bar just across the street from Big Boy’s place. They were both dressed in the “gothic Lolita” style, only one of them had cotton-candy blue hair and was doing a green-plaid color scheme and the other had hot pink hair and was doing a red-plaid. Both of them wearing torn up fishnets and high-heeled combat boots. Both of them wearing their hair in pig tails. They could have been riot grrls, hookers or high school students…Kane wasn’t sure…but the one thing he did know was that they seemed familiar. They looked at him and one of them waved. Surely there was time for one drink, right?

The bar was smokey and quiet, there was a Chinese human wearing a helmetless spacesuit with tubes attaching to the back wall serving drinks. The two girls were standing at the bar ordering drinks when Kain approached. The bartender handed each of the girls a small glass with eyeballs floating in them. He poured some kind of iridescent green liquid over the eyeballs which caused them to shine like cat’s eyes in a headlight. The bartender gestured at Kane, seeing what he wanted. “I’ll have some cough medicine, please. Heavy on the DXM” he ordered. 

“So, aint you ladies a little young to be drinking? Isnt tonight a school night?” Kane said with a chortle. 

“Uhm, Im 320 years old and my baby sister here is 275.” The one with the green-plaid said. “Oh. Well then. You ladies got any marijuana?” Kane then asked. The one with the red-plaid wrapped one of her soft, slender tentacles around his forearm and they both giggled. “Marijuana. How quaint.” She said with a chuckle. “May we probe you?” the other asked as she sipped her drink. “On the first date?” Kane sheepishly objected as he pounded his drink down and then slammed the glass back on the bar, causing it to shatter. (the bar, not the glass). The bartender shook his head and then flicked a tiny ball of blue light at the floor, which popped like a can of smoke and hardened into a new bar in a manner of seconds. The pink haired girl then grabbed Kane’s forearm with her tentacle. The tip opened up and her proboscis punctured into Kane’s skin. It only took her a second to glean what she needed to know. 

“We are looking for our sister. You’ve met her.” She continued. 

“I’ve met a lot of martian broads” Kane replied as he started to step back away from the girls. 

“Tell ya what, after your meeting with Big Boy, how about you come to our place and we have us a lil coke party” the other girl said. 

“Sounds…fun?” Kane said. “Wait…you know Big Boy? And me?” he then asked. 

“After you talk to Big Boy…we’ll be waiting for you.”

5. 

Big Boy’s office was once a busy Martian Security station that bustled with police and military activity. Now it is mostly run down, Big Boy’s office the only place with fully functioning (albeit headache inducing) fluorescent lights. Kane stumbled into the office to find Big Boy sitting at his desk eating his lunch. Neon green Lichens from Proxima. 

“Kane Ford, my old friend! Great to see ya, kid! Why don’t you have a seat and we’ll get right to it.” Big Boy said. Kain followed suit and melted into the chair across from his desk, taking a moment to examine the nameplate on the desk. “Captain Scott Linklatter” it said. Kane sees a brief flash of his first meeting with “Captain Linklatter”. He remembers getting punched in the face repeatedly inside of a jail cell. 

“Don’t get all punchy with me, kid. You must be on a lot of shit if you think im back in the face punching game. Nah. No time for that anymore. Especially now. Got a couple planets to save.” He said as he wiped his mouth. “I need you to dive back into the Hallucinatrix. I need the old Aether Geist magic. I need you to expand that consciousness of yours all the way to Titan. You ever been to Titan?” he asked. 
“Nah. Maybe. I dunno. That the place with all the statues?” Kane replied. 

“Yeah, so you have been!” 

“I may have floated by once or thrice” 

“Anyway, this Leviathan business has got to stop. Those damn robots got their grubby wires into every space ship in the system, and I think they are playing for keeps. I think they want us humans outta their hair but good. Get the picture?” Big Boy continued as he held his plate close to his face and frantically shoveled the rest of his food into his mouth. He then put his plate down, splashing bits of sauce all over his desk. Kane watched as the sauce globs quickly crawled back over to the dish. “Gotta love an obedient meal. Its like eating your own dog.” Big boy said with a chuckle as he reached under the desk and pulled out a metal briefcase and put it on the desk. He opened it, revealing rainbow assortment of different hallucinogens. 

“Got some great stuff here for ya Kain. Some DMT, in case you need to get in touch with the mechanical bouncing ball elves, some Salvia Divinorum extract, some mescaline and of course some good old fashioned LSD. All of which should help you get into full on Aether Geist mode once you crack those Hallucinatrix cartridges.”

Kane’s heart jumped at the sight. “Hello” by Lionel Richie (translated to Martian) started to play in his head. Kane quickly shoots up to his feet, standing up straight, at full attention. He salutes Big Boy with one hand and grabs the case with the other. “I’ll get right on it!” he says as he clutches the case close to his chest and runs out the door. Big boy shakes his head in disappointment and pours himself some scotch from a bottle inside of his desk drawer. “Yeah, we are probably all done for” he mutters to himself.  

6. 

Kane found himself sitting on the edge of a hotel room bed with two beautiful Martian ladies, clutching the briefcase Big Boy gave him, waiting for them to finish breaking up some lines of some kind of Martian drug he had yet to try. 

“This all seems…familiar” he thinks to himself. He remembers this. “Wait a second, you girls are about to sit down on the bed next to me and try to explain to me what the deal is with the Leviathan Uprising.” He says out loud as he sits up. 

“Oh, looks like the Hallucinatrix is kicking in” one of the girls says. 

“No, of course it isn’t, I havnt even cracked it yet” Kane said, now holding an empty cartridge in his hand. 

“Wait…” 

At that moment he found himself back in that room. The sterile one. He is being prodded by that robot jellyfish thing. 

The next moment he is at G’Zorgin’s place. “How did I….” he begins to ask, before he is interrupted by G’Zorgins. “You know, you really shouldn’t be doing drugs with strange girls. Those three girls…” he says.

“Three?” Kane asks.  

“Yeah, three. One of them had her proboscis so far up your tuchas that you were practically her hand puppet. She was in your head. Riding out your high. Lucky Big Boy had the sense to call me to come get you. He knew those girls would make a play for you.” G’Zorgins answered. 

“Where are they now?” Kane asked. 

“You need some sleep. Tell you what, Im going to take a shower, why don’t you lay on my bed and take a nap.”

“A nap….a Nap sounds good.”

Kane lays down in to bed, about to fall asleep, when his slumber is interrupted by the entrance of a woman. She is an alien. Not like one he had seen before though. She looked like a humanoid leopard. Or some kind of evolved serval tiger. She was beautiful. She sat down on the foot of the bed and didn’t say a word to him. Instead she looked at him and crawled on all fours towards him, tickling his chin with her long prehensile tail. She raised one leg over his lap and sits down, straddling him. She then starts to lick his face and purr until he grabs on to her hips and starts kissing back. It doesn’t take him but a few moments to have his pants down. Their love making is soon interrupted by G’Zorgins, now standing in front of the bed, wearing a towel. “What in the name of the seven hells are you doing, man?!” he demands. “I’m….I’m sorry. Is she your girlfriend or wife or something? I didn’t know, I swear!” Kane starts to explain, flustered. G’Zorgens expression turns from confused anger to a smile of amusement. “Kane, that’s not my wife. Or my girlfriend. That’s…my pillow.” He said with a chuckle. 

Kane looked at the pillow and, felt a tinge of shame, then put his dick back into his pants.

“Yeah…well…it’s a nice fucking pillow” he said. 

“I know it is. I bought it special. Tell ya what, let me get back to my shower. You can…keep the pillow.” He then said as he headed back into the bathroom. 

7.
There really was nothing like that first time he inhaled the contents of his first Hallucinatrix cartridge, absorbing all that alien data homeopathically by way of his olfactory senses. 

There he was, floating a few inches off the ground, his third eye now open, time and space now at completely at his disposal. Connected to all the energy in the universe. 

Kane saw many a thing that day. He saw every moment of his life, past and future, converging into one super-condensed moment of universal importance. But that wasn’t all he saw. He saw…other lives. 
He saw a girl, maybe seven years old, sitting in front of her mirror, making uncontrollably sour faces as she pounded shot after shot of mountain dew, mourning her dead goldfish. Thinking about that weird-ass moving her parents took her to. The one with the aliens and mars and the robots and the drugs. It was a stupid movie, but it took her mind off her goldfish. 

He also saw an old man sitting alone in a reclining chair. He is lonely and angry and kind of frustrated. He is pounding shots of Kentucky bourbon like he was mourning his goldfish. He had to come up with an ending to his book. A book where Kane is the main character. “I wonder if he’ll kill me off” he thinks to himself. 
Then there was young Kane. Different Kane. Living on Earth. The fourth world war never happened. Or at least not yet. There is something on the news about the first Earth colony ships arriving on Mars. “I want to go to there!” he tells his mom and he points at the Holo-screen.  

Then he sees himself back at G’Zorgin’s place. 

8.

Kane wakes up once again, now slightly more cogent. He remembers this. This is where he was when he got the call. Or where he should be? Should have been? 

G’Zorgin walks in, freshly showered, towel around his waist. “Oh good, your awake” he says. 

“Yeah. I guess I am.” Kane replies as he rubs his eyes and looks over at the opened briefcase next to him on the bed, all the drugs having been consumed. All but one final cartridge of Hallucinatrix. 

“Alright, Kane. Fun is fun…but you really gotta stop that fleet.” He says as steps into his closet to get dressed.  

By the time G’Zorgins is dressed, all of a minute later, he comes out to find Kane in that state he was in when he first tried Hallucinatrix. Floating above the ground. God-like. Cosmically aware. In touch with everything. 
In a flash of light, Kane is gone. Mars is gone. Kane is somewhere in between Earth and Mars, folding through space at the speed of thought. It doesn’t take him long to find the hijacked fleet and touch every mind therein. There are only a few, all of them prisoners. All of them afraid for their lives, having just watched their compatriots get shoved out of airlocks. 

Kane boards one of the ships, one with no humans, for a reason he isn’t quite sure of. In his Geist form he has no real physical mass. He floats to the bridge of the ship to find an single robot sitting in the captain’s chair. He takes physical form so that he may address it. Also because his buzz is wearing off. 

“So, you must be Leviathan.” Kane says, startling the robot who jumps in his chair and quickly turns to face him.

“There you are. Wasn’t expecting you for another 5 seconds.” The robot says. 

“Here I am.” Kane replies. 

“So, before you try to stop me…there is something you must know. You and I…we are one and the same. I am actually a copy of your consciousness.” Leviathan tells him. 

“So…am I even here? Are either of us even real?” Kane asks. 

“What? That’s ridiculous. Of course we are real. I’m me and you are you, idiot.” The robot replies. “And now that you are here…I can be even more me. We both can.” He continues as he sends for some of the guards to come and take Kane prisoner. 

The next thing he knows, he is in that room. With the robot jellyfish. And the pain. 

The agony that seemed to go on forever was interrupted by a small explosion on the side of the ship. The ship is under attack by a Martian Saucer. Earth ships are no match for Martian tech, so in just a few short moments later three beings in spacesuits walk in to medibay turned interrogation room where Kane is being prodded by the torture robot. One of the suits lifts a blaster and shoots the robot to oblivion. The three then take their helmets off to reveal that they are the two girls that Kane had partied with the night before, and their sister. 

“I am Hecate” The sister he hadn’t met before said. “And all this is my fault. I just wanted to have some fun. 

I didn’t intend for things to go this far.” She explained

“The reason we wanted to probe you was to get a piece of you to give to Leviathan. Sort of like Adam’s rib. He was to be their messiah” 

“But alas, the problem with religions is that they breed…fanaticism.” The three girls explained. 

“So, now what?” Kane asked.

“Now…well, now we regain control of the fleet, get you back to Mars…and wipe the memory of every robot. And maybe yours too.” Hecate then says. 

“Well, I guess it’ll be better than dying.” Kane said with a shrug as he prepared to follow them back to their ship. 

9. 

Kane found himself once again waking up, having dozed off while on the job, straddling his mining laser. 
It had been a long, boring week. Kane was bored and exhausted. Of course, when he returned to his quarters he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep. There is that one Martian, the cool guy, who always struck him as a drug dealer. Of course, Kane knew better then to approach him. He’ll say what he always says. 

“Sorry, I don’t sell to humans.”

So, it was to be another boring end to another boring night. At least his dreams were interesting. Maybe he’d have that one again where he was floating through space in white tights with his pet monkey and his adolescent brother and sisters friends. Fighting for justice. Or maybe he’d dream of life back on Earth. 
For some reason, he was kind of hoping he wouldn’t dream of anything at all. He wasn’t sure why. 


END